Diary of a Mum: Surviving the Tween Years

So, you've found yourself smack dab in the middle of the tween years – that wild and wacky phase between childhood and the dreaded teen years.

Yep, I'm right here with you! Having two neurodivergent boys myself, I'm writing this blog not only as support for you but also to remind myself of the important things as we navigate these new waters.

Tweenagers, typically aged between 9 and 12, experience a surge of hormonal changes as they enter puberty. These hormonal fluctuations can lead to mood swings, emotional ups and downs, and increased sensitivity.

Basically, they're like these tiny tornadoes of hormones, emotions, and sass. One minute they're sweet as pie, and the next they're giving you major attitude. It's all part of the fun (or chaos) of this stage of development. Something that I have had to remember? It's not personal – it's just tweenhood.

Here's my plan on getting to the other side of this with an emotionally intelligent, well-adjusted man-children and hopefully, as personally unscathed as possible!

Make Decisions as a Parent, Not a Friend.

It is tough when we move from that person that your little guy or gal adored, to this seeming monster that is likened to the fun-police. It's actually pretty devastating as a parent when they seem to 'love you less'! When times get tough, it is tempting to just 'go with the flow' and parent how your kid wants you to parent. However, saying yes to things that don't feel right in your core, just to be the 'fun one' or 'keep the peace' is not always the right thing to do in the long run. As parents, we have decades of experience in this world. Your kid doesn't. When we draw on this experience as use it as a backing to those tough calls, we are doing our children a service, not a disservice despite the frosty environment that you might face at home because of it.

Communication

Communication is key when it comes to parenting tweens. Sure, they might act like they'd rather be anywhere else than talking to you, but deep down, they still need your guidance and support. So, even if it feels like pulling teeth, keep those lines of chatter open. Listen to their ramblings, their rants, and yes, even their eye rolls. Try to keep your communication light-hearted and fun where possible and keep connected with jokes and humour. 

Ground Rules

We all know that tweens want to spread their wings and fly, but they still need a little guidance – and a whole lot of boundaries. Setting some ground rules that are reasonable and logical will help you not appear like too much of a buzzkill. Being fair, consistent, and prepared to negotiate are high on my list. Compromise is the name of the game when it comes to parenting tweens.

Letting Them Spread Their Wings

As much as it might pain you to watch your baby bird leave the nest, it's important to let your tween spread their wings and fly (metaphorically speaking, of course). Encourage them to explore their interests, whether it's skateboarding, painting, or playing the tuba. Let them take risks, make mistakes, and find their own way in the world.

Take Care of You

Parenting a tween can be exhausting, so it is super important to take care of yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup. So, take a break when you need it, indulge in some self-care, and remember that it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Massage anyone?

Parenting a tween is like riding a wild rollercoaster blindfolded – it's exhilarating, terrifying, and occasionally nauseating. But with a little bit of patience, a whole lot of love, and a dash of humour, we can survive – and even thrive – during these crazy tween years.

So, hang on tight, friend, and let's enjoy the ride!